Here comes the bride!

Today has been a very exciting day for me. Shae and I have been talking about getting married since before he left for BCT. Our plan was for him to come home, propose, and then run to the courthouse and get married. But the more I think about us getting married, the more I actually want to have a wedding. Nobody but my mom and a few close friends knew about our prior plans just for the obvious - he hasn't proposed. Military life makes it complicated, though. We are separated by 3000 miles and limited communication. So, I am planning our wedding even though we don't know exactly when he will be home and he still has yet to propose.

I know it probably sounds silly or crazy but we are limited on time. He doesn't want to propose over a letter, or phone, or skype. He says "I want it to be special. This is something I will only get to ask you once in our lives." Which makes me have huge heart eyes and I understand completely. I want him to ask me when he gets home. But, unfortunately we cannot plan an actual wedding in a week! So that is why I am doing the planning.

Our wedding will not be anything huge. In fact, it is going to be quite small. Just immediate family, with our bridesmaids and groomsmen. Then following the ceremony, we will have a big reception and that is when more of our friends and family can come join us to celebrate!

Shae is absolutely so perfect and caring and patient. I keep suggesting stuff for the wedding and he just says "That sounds perfect baby!" or "I love that!" or something like that, and I am loving it, but I asked him why he is being so in love with every single one of my ideas. You will never guess his response (actually, you might). He says, "I really do love everything you have suggested babe. I just want this to be everything you ever imagined it would be." God, I love this man.

So far, there are not very many plans. We picked out colors today. Since he will be wearing his ASU's (His army dress blues), I figured we better have colors that will match his uniform! I went with coral, white and navy blue. I was a little unsure of the colors at first, but I looked up coral and navy blue weddings and OH MY GOD, it is perfect. Shae also agrees!

I am on a mad hunt for a wedding dress and a photographer and a location. It's so hard to book a photographer or location when you don't know when exactly your soldier will be home from his training. It will be somewhere between end of November and end of December.

Wow, it is absolutely crazy to think that before 2014, I will be a married woman. I will be Calista Marie Atkins. It kind of has a ring to it, doesn't it? ;)

Heart eyes.

Day 10 - Discuss your first kiss and your first love

My first love is easy. My first love is Donald Shae Atkins. My high school sweet heart, my pride and joy, the man of my dreams. He is every dream I've ever had, and the man I have always wished for - but so much more. There were relationships I had in my early years of high school where I claimed I was in love. I was absolutely silly for ever thinking such a thing. Once I fell in love with Shae, I knew I could not lose him. Everything has been so crystal clear since I have met him. I try to remember life before him and it all just seems so pointless. We have been together for three years and unfortunately we are separated by 3000 miles as he is in the United States Army and is doing his training in Augusta, Georgia at Fort Gordon. When he is done with all of his training, though, he will be coming home to me and we are getting married and off we will go. :) I could go on and on for days about my love for him. I could tell you all the reasons why, I could tell you how. Just trust and know that he is my first and last love - and I have never been more serious about anything in this world.

As for my first kiss, (here comes the awkward...) it was my first love's (Shae) brother. I grew up with his brother my entire childhood and we were best friends. We were playing spin the bottle in 6th grade and my bottle landed on Trevor. We hid under my jacket and we kissed and then we made out. It was really awkward and embarrassing and he always wanted to go hide and make out after that. Now it is sort of a joke, because I am marrying his brother soon.

My own fairy tale.

Day 01 - Your current relationship

I am hopelessly and undeniably in love with the most amazing man. Our relationship is far from perfect, but it is perfect for us. We make it work so well, despite all the big bumps we have gone through in the past three years.We got together so oblivious to what was to come. We started out as just a couple high school students, who liked to party and get stoned and now here we are, three years later, head over heels in love and 3000 miles apart. I know this sounds kind of cocky to say... but I really am one of the best things to ever happen to him. His family always thanks me for bringing out the better man in him. I also have the army to thank.

Our relationship is everything to me. I have put my heart and soul into it and have never been more sure and more ready for  anything in my life. Our relationship is filled with long distance, lonely nights, and limited communication. But most of all, our relationship is filled with love and triumph; with love letters and support. I could not be happier or more in love and it is all thanks to my man, my hero, my soldier.

I can't express how thankful I am that he's the man that I'm spending my life with. He truly loves all of me, even the parts I hate, even my deepest insecurities, he loves because they are part of me. I don't believe in God but I wish I knew who put this kind, wonderful, loving, supportive, understanding perfect man on this Earth and brought him to me. Maybe it was coincidence, maybe not. All I know is that the most important thing to me is that he knows every day for the rest of our lives how much I love and appreciate him. I have no words or way to show it properly but I will die trying.