Update

Let's see, I suppose there is some catching up to do. I have been MIA from this blog for far too long. I guess I mostly got caught up with work, stress, etc. I really have been busy. But I am ready to get back into the swing of things! I plan on posting at least three times a week. 

I am going to start doing weekly collages of pictures from over the course of the week. I don't know which says yet - I chose today to do one just because I ry do have some serious slack to make up for!

Anyway, first picture is of me. Yes I was at work and yes I totally snapped a selfie while in the back. I was superwoman that day, though. I got so much done at the cafe. Oh! Did you notice my pink ribbon? I am definitely a huge supporter when it comes to that stuff.

Next picture is of my handsome man after he waited about 2 hours for a haircut at the PX. He usually sends me pictures of himself and his new haircut. I am really loving it!

The bottom left corner is a picture of a label I had made by Bootscootin Graphics on tumblr. I had them make one for each of the girls going to my bachelorette party. They turned out adorable!

Following that, I have the garter that was just purchased. I am so in love with it. Seriously perfect beyond words. I also ordered a veil. All of my pieces are coming together for the wedding!

Lastly is a screenshot from Saturday. I was spoiled and got over and a half of Tango time. I absolutely love us and our relationship. I tried on my Halloween costumes for him and did some modeling and was being silly. Then he laid down and pretended he was sleeping. But it was too precious to not screen shot! ;)

Complications.

All of the families know about the wedding. Well, at least most of them do. I told my dad and Shae told his mom and those were the two biggest ones to tell. I sort of feel lost and unorganized and like I am just getting no where. But to be honest, I don't care if our wedding day isn't as extravagant as I am hoping it will be. Just being married to the man I love will be perfect enough for me.

Today, people were saying that I should just stay home after Shae and I get married. It really irritated me. I am already expecting to stay home for a month or so after he leaves for his duty station but only because I won't be on his orders, we will need to get/find a house, and deal with all of the paperwork. But they didn't mean just wait a month or so, they mean wait MONTHS. They made it seem like I should just live at home the entire time he is in the army because I will be alone and have no friends or family. The thing is, I don't think of it like that. I think of it as being married to the most amazing man that I know, to the man I want to spend the rest of my life with, and starting our future together. I am willing to pack up all my stuff and start over. I am choosing to live this lifestyle because this is what my future husbands lifestyle is currently. I loved him before he even joined the army and we have always always made it work no matter what lifestyle we were living just like we will do now. I am quite aware that there is always the chance for deployment and other training where he will be away. But I will be in school, I will have a job and I will have our life to take care of at home for whenever he comes back.

I don't understand how people can NOT understand. I guess I am just really tired of all the negativity and un-needed opinions because after all, the decisions are up to Shae and I. This is our life and our future.

My day in a nutshell.

Day 12 - Bullet Your Whole Day

• Woke up at 9:30am to Chadam yelling "CLADICE!! WAKE UP!"
• Washed my face/brushed my teeth
• Curled my hair/did my makeup/got dressed
• Went to the post office
• Stopped at Grannie Donna's
• Went to the Dairy Maid and got four orders of jalepeno poppers
• Drove to Seaside
• Went to all the tourist shops
• Went to the beach/ocean
• Went to Nikki's and visited her and her family
• Finally talked to Shae and discussed plans
• Came home
• Ate a bowl of chili
• Laid down in bed
• Here I am

Rocker chick.

Day 11 - Put your IPod on shuffle and write 10 songs that pop up.

1. Scene Two - Roger Rabbit by Sleeping with Sirens
2. Careless Whisper by Seether
3. No More Tears by Ozzy Osbourne
4. Do You Know? by Enrique Iglesias
5. Knocking on Heavens Door by Guns N' Roses
6. Through Struggle by As I Lay Dying
7. Perfect by Hedley
8. 37 Stitches by Disturbed
9. Hit the Floor by Bullet For My Valentine
10. American Capitalist by Five Finger Death Punch

Here comes the bride!

Today has been a very exciting day for me. Shae and I have been talking about getting married since before he left for BCT. Our plan was for him to come home, propose, and then run to the courthouse and get married. But the more I think about us getting married, the more I actually want to have a wedding. Nobody but my mom and a few close friends knew about our prior plans just for the obvious - he hasn't proposed. Military life makes it complicated, though. We are separated by 3000 miles and limited communication. So, I am planning our wedding even though we don't know exactly when he will be home and he still has yet to propose.

I know it probably sounds silly or crazy but we are limited on time. He doesn't want to propose over a letter, or phone, or skype. He says "I want it to be special. This is something I will only get to ask you once in our lives." Which makes me have huge heart eyes and I understand completely. I want him to ask me when he gets home. But, unfortunately we cannot plan an actual wedding in a week! So that is why I am doing the planning.

Our wedding will not be anything huge. In fact, it is going to be quite small. Just immediate family, with our bridesmaids and groomsmen. Then following the ceremony, we will have a big reception and that is when more of our friends and family can come join us to celebrate!

Shae is absolutely so perfect and caring and patient. I keep suggesting stuff for the wedding and he just says "That sounds perfect baby!" or "I love that!" or something like that, and I am loving it, but I asked him why he is being so in love with every single one of my ideas. You will never guess his response (actually, you might). He says, "I really do love everything you have suggested babe. I just want this to be everything you ever imagined it would be." God, I love this man.

So far, there are not very many plans. We picked out colors today. Since he will be wearing his ASU's (His army dress blues), I figured we better have colors that will match his uniform! I went with coral, white and navy blue. I was a little unsure of the colors at first, but I looked up coral and navy blue weddings and OH MY GOD, it is perfect. Shae also agrees!

I am on a mad hunt for a wedding dress and a photographer and a location. It's so hard to book a photographer or location when you don't know when exactly your soldier will be home from his training. It will be somewhere between end of November and end of December.

Wow, it is absolutely crazy to think that before 2014, I will be a married woman. I will be Calista Marie Atkins. It kind of has a ring to it, doesn't it? ;)

Heart eyes.

Day 10 - Discuss your first kiss and your first love

My first love is easy. My first love is Donald Shae Atkins. My high school sweet heart, my pride and joy, the man of my dreams. He is every dream I've ever had, and the man I have always wished for - but so much more. There were relationships I had in my early years of high school where I claimed I was in love. I was absolutely silly for ever thinking such a thing. Once I fell in love with Shae, I knew I could not lose him. Everything has been so crystal clear since I have met him. I try to remember life before him and it all just seems so pointless. We have been together for three years and unfortunately we are separated by 3000 miles as he is in the United States Army and is doing his training in Augusta, Georgia at Fort Gordon. When he is done with all of his training, though, he will be coming home to me and we are getting married and off we will go. :) I could go on and on for days about my love for him. I could tell you all the reasons why, I could tell you how. Just trust and know that he is my first and last love - and I have never been more serious about anything in this world.

As for my first kiss, (here comes the awkward...) it was my first love's (Shae) brother. I grew up with his brother my entire childhood and we were best friends. We were playing spin the bottle in 6th grade and my bottle landed on Trevor. We hid under my jacket and we kissed and then we made out. It was really awkward and embarrassing and he always wanted to go hide and make out after that. Now it is sort of a joke, because I am marrying his brother soon.

A gaze into my future.

Day 09 - How you hope your future will be like

I hope my future is everything as I see it now. Happily married to Shae and celebrating x amount of years together, with our beautiful children. I hope to be working in medicine and being excited about work. I hope that Shae is still alive and well and safe, but still pursues his army career. I hope to be physically fit and healthy and maintaining my health issues.

I hope my future consists of moments where I am gazing out our living room window into our yard, watching my husband and our kids playing tag and seeing our dogs join in with them, and being so blessed to have such a wonderful family.

I hope my future is filled with happiness, and joy, and laughter. I hope it is filled with few regrets. I hope it is everything I hope it to be right this instant.